Seeking therapy can be a big step, especially when you’re dealing with relationship issues. Whether you’re coping with communication problems, conflict, or a sense of distance between you, reaching out to a relationship counsellor is a key step towards improving your relationship. If you’re not sure of what to expect, this article will guide you through the typical structure of a first therapy session so you can feel more prepared and at ease.
Why seek relationship therapy?
Before we get into session specifics, it helps to understand why couples pursue therapy. More often than not, when romantic partners face problems they can’t work through on their own, they decide to look for relationship therapy. Whether those problems are arguments, misunderstandings, diminished intimacy, trust issues, or teaming up to face life’s stresses, relationship therapy becomes a necessity.
Some couples also enter therapy proactively to build a stronger bond, communicate more effectively or simply gain a better understanding of each other’s needs and expectations. Whatever your reason, a relationship therapist or a psychiatrist is there to guide couples as they face difficulties and grow closer in a safe, non-judgmental space.
What occurs in the first session?
When you meet for the first session with a relationship therapist, that time might be used for getting everyone acquainted with the therapy process. It also serves as an introduction to the therapist’s methods, the outline of what kind of sessions you’ll have in the future, and an early glimpse into how the therapist will approach the problems you’re going through. Here’s what you can expect during this first visit:
1: The intake phase:
Right out of the gate, the therapist will want to hear a little bit about your relationship from both of you. So they might inquire about your relationship’s age, why you are here, and what specific issues you are facing right now. The therapist usually prefers that only one person speak at a time, so remember to be patient and fair about sharing the floor.
Aside from your relationship history, the therapist may also ask about your lives before your partnership, like what your past relationships were like, your family dynamics and any struggles you’re going through personally that might have an impact on your relationship. With this information in hand, the therapist can form a better idea of what’s causing tension in your relationship, and what you as individuals need.
Defining your expectations and objectives:
After collecting some background information, your therapist will most likely want to know
- What do you expect from therapy?
- Why did you come here?
- What do you hope to accomplish during your sessions?
- Are your aims to improve how you talk, rebuild trust, or just handle conflict better?
This talk helps to draw a map of which issues need attention, and helps get you and the therapist on the same page with what’s most important to you. After defining your major preferences, this paves the way for the work you’ll be doing together. The therapist will support you in refining both short-term and long-term relationship goals and help you make practical progress towards these goals.
Introducing the approach of therapists:
There are as many styles and methodologies as there are therapy providers. In your first session, the therapist will tell you how they do things and what you can expect from the process. They might talk about different methods they use; for example Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, etc. And some may blend methods depending on what you need for your unique situation.
Understanding the approach is crucial because it will give you a sense of how the sessions are going to be structured and what kind of techniques the therapist may use.
Confidentiality and boundaries:
The therapist will likely go over the rules of confidentiality with you which is key to building trust in your therapy relationship. Both partners should feel comfortable opening up and speaking honestly about their fears, feelings and frustrations with each other. A therapist is ethically bound to protect the confidences shared in counseling meaning that what you talk about in therapy stays in therapy.
It’s not uncommon for therapists to also go over communication ground rules. Equal speaking time without interruptions and remaining respectful to one another even in difficult conversations is essential. These guidelines play a crucial role in fostering productive discussions and healthy interactions during sessions.
Initial observations and impressions:
The first meeting that occurs will likely result in some immediate impressions or observations from the therapist. They may reflect on your communication style, and how you function as a couple, pointing out any unhelpful patterns they see under the surface. This feedback is par for the course and helps you see some of the problematic behaviours that might be contributing to the struggles in your relationship.
Body language, tone of voice and emotional cues are some of the non-verbal signs that will also be observed by the couple’s therapist. It’s these signs that are equally important in relationships and can give insight to therapists about the dynamics between you both.
The next step and planning:
Towards the end of your initial session, the therapist will probably talk about ‘what’s next’. They might introduce exercises to try in between appointments or suggest areas for you to work on; for example, practising active listening or writing down your thoughts and feelings. They may want to encourage additional sessions afterwards, emphasising the importance of regularly checking in to assess progress and stay on top of continuing issues.
Individual therapy may also be suggested by the therapist if they feel that is warranted — perhaps for concerns like anxiety, trauma, or depression. Making sure each person is in a good mental and emotional state before diving back into the relationship is key.
What to prepare in advance for?
Relationship therapy is a supportive and safe space. Before you go, do these things to set yourself up for the best possible success. Tips to prepare below:
Being upfront:
When you meet the Therapist, just tell them how you feel. Feel free to tell him everything.
Being open-minded:
Therapy can be challenging and make you see things in a new way. But to make the process work, it’s crucial to be willing to take any action, even if it is a minor change in your life.
Present Real expectations:
Meaningful change requires time and healing doesn’t mean all conflicts can be fixed in a single session. You’ll need to allow yourself and your partner time to work through it together.
Conclusion:
Seeing a relationship therapist is the start of your journey to a stronger and happier bond with your partner. Therapy is a safe place to improve connections, communication, understanding, and satisfaction among both individuals and couples alike. If you are open and honest, accomplish the goals you set and trust the process, the relationship with yourself and your partner will be on the road of growth and healing.
